It's worse, he does it with girls as well

So farewell George Melly,
Trad jazz man, surrealist and raconteur;
Keith's mum thought you louche
and Keith enjoyed your Profanisaurus

Was saddened to hear that George Melly is no longer with us. My dad remembered seeing him do his trad jazz thing whilst on national service and took a strong dislike to what he perceived to be a stream of ungallantly gynecological ribaldry directed at the waitresses and serving girls.

As a regular of Shepherds Bush's top restaurant the wonderfully chintzy Polish palace 'The Patio' it was always a delight when a deathless hush descended on the bigos and borscht as George entered, his sheer presence reaching out in time and space in advance of his rugged physical form, eyepatch in place, a boozy boho Pirate on shore leave.

On one occasion whilst dining with bear friends George was accompanied by a most astoundingly good looking , tall black man. We immediately thought dark thoughts about how embarrassingly obvious this was, how does George hold court and get to sleep with men way above his league at his age and with his reputation until sober reflection suggested maybe this was just a jazz encounter.

At another time whilst dining with my brother, George came in with a good looking Aussie blonde number on the right side of her thirties, both pissed to the gills, smoking and arguing continuously. Well less arguing than drinking and eating through a miasmatic fog of cultural confusion and anecdotage.

As Haliwell's Companion to Film would have it: 'Sample dialogue'

"And then I went to meet Princess Margaret Accompanied with Robin Day"

"Did you say Robin's gay?"

"Robin Day!

"Robin's gay??" Repeat ad nauseam.

On a club toilet door in deepest darkest 50s soho was written the grafitti "George Melly does it with men" to which some scribe had appended "it's even worse, he does it with girls as well".

Seeing Melly naked was a sight not confined to a few. One of his party tricks was to take his clothes off, get down on all fours, and rearrange his genitalia to impersonate a man, a woman, and then a bulldog.

For a full life lived with no regard to outward propriety or petifogging moralising, as a staunch humanist, Surrealist, fly fisherman and contributor to the joy and gaiety in all senses of the nation, and for leaving the universe in a better place than as he found it, I for one will be knocking one back for George.

Food Pornography as London Takes It

Had the good fortune whilst returning from a prospective job interview to choose to return on the circle line via High Street Kensington for a varied walk home (the stop and search down of anyone suspected of looking Asian opposite the copshop on Shepherd's Bush Road is also worth avoiding), to stumble in finally to Whole Foods Market

Set in the old Barkers store along the road from the Daily Mail/Evening Standard offices on Derry Street the three floor food emporium invites shoppers to indulge a foodie shopping nirvana beyond compare. Or if we agree that comparisons are odorous, it makes the Waitrose at the opposite end of the High Street seem like Somerfield.

The range of cheeses alone would force Sarkozy, let alone Barosso to lower head in hands and despair over how to govern a country, let alone continent with such diversity of dead milk in unusual smells and textures. Ditto the opening bakery, deli counter let alone meat, chocolate, and fruit and veg hall downstairs. I felt like Yeltsin or Gorbachev in the late 80s, dumbstruck by the world of choice represented by an everyday US supermarket compared to the GUM stores of Soviet Russia.

I didn't have time or incliation to head upstairs for the restaurants and Bramley pub but I did leave with head a spinning at the sheer quality, range, freshness and immensity of all on offer, rigorously maintained by staff working to the orders of a cadre of Whole Food drill sergeants/commissars.

So in short it's like being inside the Chocolate Factory - a world of wonderment, fantasy and sustainable, feelgood excess on the edge of Kensington Church Street. I'll have to come back to the store and ruminate between times on what this means in a world of haves and have nots. On first impressions this seems a happy concept that is well run and has the potential to improve our understanding of how food should be presented, marketed and sold.

But it was still back to Brook Green's Tesco to pick up humble supplies for a ready steady cook £5 dinner (Black Farmer sausages with new potatoes, green beans, broccoli, carrots and onion gravy for those desperate to know).

Apols if Corn (Law)

Trawling for research on public sector information I came across the Better Regulation Executive's report 'Informing the Public in a multi media age'

The report suggests that all statutory notices local authorities and central government bodis (DVLA/DEFRA) are obliged to produce cost some £15 million in local government alone at an average of £35k. Some London boroughs spend some £110,000 in their local rags to let the readers of the Kilburn Gazette know which pubs are pushing for longer opening hours and why Mr Jones round the corner wants his kitchen extended in his Grade II listed maisonette.

Not good news for local newspaper ad revenues, but on the bright side you can see now departed Cabinet Office Minister Pat McFadden stream in high resolution

So far, so e-gov, so good. But what did appeal to the old was the following guff about Legislative Reform Orders.

Ministers can now make a Legislative Reform Order (LRO) to remove burdens arising from legislation (Section 1 of the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Act 2006, LRRA) and make orders to ensure that regulatory functions are exercised in compliance with the Better Regulations Commission’s Five Principles of Good Regulation (Section 2 of the LRRA). The LRO must meet the preconditions set out in section 3 of the Legislative Regulatory Reform Act and cannot deliver highly controversial reforms.

LROs may be highly effective in streamlining recent legislation removing burdensome publication requirements such as, constitutional announcements e.g. the appointment of deputy lieutenants, Corn Law announcements, ecclesiastical announcements and similar less used elements of statute law, which no longer serve a beneficial purpose. Removing administrative burdens in this way will enable
departments that do not have a bill slot available to implement better regulation principles efficiently. Further work is required to identify more specifically those laws suitable for the application of an LRO.

Strewth, haven't they repealed the Corn Laws yet? What do these announcements have to say? Was it all a dream - will Sir Robert Peel awake in a shower in the style of Robert Duff from Dallas? As the popbitch board would have it - apols if corn...