Courtesy of Mr Conrad - no rights reserved:
A landmark ground-breaking epoch shifting game changer has been devolved to Big voluntary neighbourhood residents Societies under the coalition’s plan to flummox the country with bullshit.
The Localism Bill, published today, has brought the already-simmering lexicon of coalition verbiage and claptrap masquerading as community empowerment close to boiling point.
Under the plan, Secretary of State for REALLOCALNOTTHEIRLOCAL, Eric Pickles, said voluntary coalitions of PR agencies and spin doctors would be empowered to devolve game changing transformations and freedoms to all bullshitters, not just those paid by ministers.
‘I aspire to a centrepiece vision of blue sky-ness to restore civic pride and to place-shape a fairer, stronger army of vulnerable adults to foundation economic advancement through neighbourhood bureaucracies and resurgent pathways,’ he dribbled.
‘That way, nobody will have a clue what we stand for before the next election.’
Deputy double-speaker in chief, Nicola Clegg, added that the Bill was a radical shape-shifting enterprise in innovation that would provide the ‘tippermost’ multitudal enhancements to ward-level consumer-thinkers.
‘This Bill will fundamentally hoard efficient service programmes at community level by freedoming the power to act decisively, rather than dictating a centralist big government lease-back to build a stronger, fairer and more incomprehensible future for all,’ he blathered.
